Category: Entrepreneurial Wellness

Georgia-based B2B copywriter, blogger, podcaster and coach, Ed Gandia, has produced some great marketing materials during the past  decade or so in which I have followed him. I “met” him by reading the influential book, The Wealthy Freelancer (that Ed co-wrote with my former coach, Steve Slaunwhite), and through their shared work in the “International Freelancers’ Academy.

Ed finds as much fascination in issues of entrepreneurial well-being as I do, and he regularly shares his research and insights on it.

Recently, I listened to a program he published on the importance of setting and keeping our own mental boundaries, as solo professionals, so that work does not take over all the time (and then some!) that we have. Ed cites “Parkinson’s Law,” that “work will expand to take up all available time,” if we let it. And nothing good follows.

For instance, if we make a habit of working on weekends, and don’t respect our own need for rest and to be with families and friends, we break the limits that we set for ourselves, leaving us prone to exhaustion and burn-out.  Our families express their disappointment and anger (or, if they’re children, they act out).

There’s nothing new to this observation, as psychotherapists, psychoanalysts and other mental health specialists wrote about “boundary violations” at least three decades ago. But Ed’s program caused me to pause because he describes how negotiating our own inner boundaries can be challenging, specifically because we are subject to both false guilt (FG) and true guilt (TG). Both forms of guilt can dog the outcome when we break our own boundaries.

True guilt (TG), Ed observes, results when we make mistakes or blunders that show that we lack internal integrity. For instance, we double-book meetings by mistake. Or we “mess up” by submitting work that was not our best, due to time constraints. TG makes us resolve the problem or fault the best we can by making amends (especially trying to learn from the mistake, so as not to repeat it), forgiving ourselves and moving on. It’s not a comfortable feeling, but it is finite in duration.

False guilt (FG), by contrast, is a learned response, triggered by a demand outside of ourselves that we could not or did not meet. This kind of guilt is unreasonable (i.e. you cannot reason with it, logically). It is also inappropriate (the guilt persists, unfairly) and unhealthy. FG makes us feel terrible and like a record stuck in a groove, causes us to blame and berate ourselves (e.g. constantly saying what we “should” do or have done). Ed calls this “should-ing all over ourselves!” There are no options available when one has FG, because you feel guilty in either case, and that is key to its destructive power.

The reason I mention Ed’s distinction between these forms of guilt (that date back to early writings of psychoanalysis) is that anyone who works creatively must be especially vigilant about FG. It leaves our minds stuck, like the proverbial needle in the groove of a record, so we feel there are “no other options available.” When you continue to feel guilty, despite having already apologized to anyone else involved, you have a problem.

Ed reminds us that when we feel FG, we override our internal boundaries, protecting others’ feelings and needs, to a pathological extent, above our own. In simple terms, we allow a client who calls in a rush order on 3:00 pm on Friday, due the following Tuesday, because, well, they’re a repeat client and we can cancel our planned outing with the kids. (Obviously, worse suffering and loss will ensue from decisions made in FG.) 

While TG is a necessary experience when we fall short, learn and grow from our failures, FG can overwhelm us with self-abuse that never goes anywhere positive. Whether we call our internal needs and commitments “boundaries” or not, Ed’s observation that they are often tied to our guilt reflect how genuine they are and that they warrant our respect.

And now it’s your turn. If you analyze your behaviour at work and at home, where do you find true and false guilt arising? How do they help or hinder your internal boundaries? And what effect does each have on your business and life?

 

(A posting on entrepreneurial well-being, first published on January 4, 2018)

Entrepreneurs tend to deal with the greatest heights and depths of emotional experience—dizzying elation when a contract succeeds and equally deep depression when it does not.

Throughout the past Christmas holiday season,  I first read about meditation, mindfulness and suffering—concepts that affect our minds and the creative work that we as entrepreneurs do. As that year recently ended and a new one was ushered in, I noticed my mental temptation to ruminate—what the Concise Oxford English Dictionary refers to as the process of “thinking deeply about something.”

But in a context of meditation and mindfulness, “rumination” takes on a more troubling meaning, such as nursing obsessive worries and getting lost in depressive and anxious thoughts that greatly undermine one’s contentment or peace. Rumination can cause terrible emotional (and then creative) blocks, as we set forth to launch new services, or when we start new projects or conclude old ones. Can you think of times when you faced these kinds of emotional blocks and how much you suffered from them?

In her pioneering 2011 study, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself, American psychologist Kristin Neff says that suffering occurs when reality does not match what we want. Given that such discordance is a common (almost daily) reality, we all suffer to some extent. It is part of being human. Neff cites her Chinese Buddhist mentor, Shinzen Young, however, who asserts that “suffering = pain x resistance.” We all suffer, but we can make our suffering more manageable if we do not resist the pain beneath it. Feel the pain, Neff writes; know what it’s about; and it will dissipate.

“The suffering doesn’t go away,” as local radio host Heather Morrison recently said, in the context of pandemic life. “But you feel better equipped to manage it.”

While contemplating this insight back in 2017, I happened also to read a meditation by the Buddhist monk, Bodhipaksa (over the Wildmind LLC meditation website). He stresses that when we suffer, one way that we resist pain is to ruminate on our circumstances, thinking, for instance, that “‘I’m worried about this, I don’t like that, No one cares about me or considers my feelings,’” and so on. Rumination allows our individual “thinking . . .  to amplify our suffering,” Bodhipaksa says.

Instead, if we can find compassion for ourselves (what Neff centres her work on), that self-compassion allows us to see ourselves as part of a greater community of others.

“‘I’ thoughts reinforce our sense of aloneness. We see ourselves as broken, as worse than others and therefore separate from [others],” Bodhipaksa says. By contrast, when we offer ourselves compassion (by a process of meditation or self-talk) we see that our “individual sufferings are . . . .  shared by others and [are] part of the difficulties we all have in being human.” “We thinking” connects us to others and enables us to view our individual sufferings as “part of the difficulties we all have in being human” he writes.

Neff’s theories of self-compassion argue that it can be cultivated and consists of “kindness meeting suffering,” that we offer to ourselves, and then can extend to others.

Fourteen months since the Covid-19 pandemic began, do you find yourself ruminating on (not just considering) your life and work?

If we cultivate self-compassion when we feel pain (instead of resisting the pain that only amplifies our suffering), our self-focused rumination will give way to calm, “decreasing our tendency to freak out, and increasing our happiness” (Bodhipaksa).

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In the March 2021 issue of the  online magazine, “Psyche,” doctoral student in clinical psychology, Christina Chwyl, took up the topic of self-compassion, arguing that it “is not self-indulgence.”

Most of us are raised to share, cooperate and play fairly. And “yet many of us receive no guidance on how to be a friend to ourselves,” she writes. “We think that compassion for ourselves is counterproductive, self-indulgent, lazy or weak. As though we deal with life’s disappointments,” as Chwyl says, by “sitting on the couch and eat[ing] Ben and Jerry’s all day.”

Self-compassion, on the contrary, “gives us strategies to manage our emotions, such as seeking support from others” instead of blaming ourselves or distracting ourselves from our unaddressed resistance to suffering.

When we practice more self-compassion, we find it easier to improve ourselves by learning from our mistakes. We can admit our mistakes to ourselves without criticizing ourselves punitively for them.

Self-compassion is, Chwyl writes, “a healthy response to suffering.” When we practice it, we are better able to “take personal responsibility for transgressions and persist following obstacles” that otherwise would halt us in our tracks. Entrepreneurial and other failures become opportunities for learning and growth.

And “contrary to assumptions that self-compassion is selfish, self-compassion even helps us to be kinder toward others.” We can become “more resilient versions of ourselves.”

She writes that when our egos whisper to ourselves in self-talk to “achieve more, do better, and you will be worthy,” self-compassion is the reliable, old friend whom we deserve and who says, “I believe in you, I’m here for you, no matter what.”

Do these insights on self-compassion resonate with you? How do you offer yourself compassion, in these late, pandemic days?

 More than a year since the Covid-19 pandemic began, folk from all walks of life are feeling exhausted.

In a recent feature for CBC’s “Saskatoon Morning” radio program, producer Heather Morrison likened our discomfort to the mental rigours of marathon running.

 

When the world first recognized the pandemic in 2020, health officials quickly reminded us that “This is not a sprint; it’s a marathon.” The major difference, Morrison says, is that endurance races are done by choice. We can’t opt-out of Covid-19. However, we can learn from those who have trained their minds and bodies through the periods of deprivation and loss that come with

running marathons.

 

Morrison grounds her reflection in the reality that she is currently training (for the first time) to do the upcoming Saskatchewan marathon, a full 42.2 kilometre race.  Marathons, she observed in her story, are less about training one’s body and more about one’s mind. The kind of mental training athletes undergo is equally needed (by all of us) to cope with late pandemic days. 

When we deal with social isolation, she suggests, we need to focus on moving forward, despite not being able to see a “finish line.” When you run, you need to focus on “what you cannot see.”  

 

In knowing that there is a finishing line ahead, we find the motivation to keep moving forward.

 

Morrison interviewed Terrant Cross Child, a Blackfoot member of the Blood Tribe from Southern Alberta, who regularly runs marathons. When you start, he observes, you can’t see the finish line, but must focus on reaching it. Aimless effort won’t work.

 Cross Child says that runners have

to endure both the bad and the good, along with the knowledge that “the prize [of finishing] lies ahead.” 

 

Just as runners’ aid stations offer first aid, water and energy gel to help athletes on their races, Cross Child says that we can cope with isolation by remembering conversations and times shared with loved ones, such as spouses, children and friends.

 

He and other marathoners, Morrison says, are “models of perseverance.” Their capacity, as Cross Child says, to “keep their eyes on the prize” ultimately overpowers the agonizing wish to quit. 

 

Ultra-marathons, the equivalent of four marathons, can last as long as 22 hours (160 km) and require athletes to run “through the pitch black of night.” Morrison interviewed Stacy Dittmer (of Brandon, MB) who has run many of these and found them doable only “by segmenting the challenge into manageable pieces.”

 

Dittmer thinks only about the next 40 steps, not the overwhelming hundred kilometres left to go. It’s “one foot in front of another” and “one aid station to the next.”  

 

Quitting, she says, is not an option. And negative thoughts need to be excluded to keep a healthy mindset. 

 

Morrison says that endurance training is “not about being so fit you do not suffer, but about changing the way you feel that suffering. The suffering does not go away. But you feel better equipped to manage it.”

 

However, we can’t anticipate every turn in the road:  sometimes we cannot prepare our minds or something unexpected occurs, so that we can easily feel overwhelmed. We might feel we have little energy or suffer muscle cramps and so on. Sometimes, Dittmer says, we simply have to “hang on.” The lows always pass. “The further you go on, they go away . . . . If you can just stick with it, you’re going to feel good again.”

 

Morrison’s story concludes that Dittmer believes gratitude is essential to cultivating a healthy mindset. During an ultramarathon, she runs on a “dark trail” all night long, so that the sight of first light becomes the object of deep gratitude. Her race is not finished, but “she’s grateful for having made it through the night.”

 

That image completes the analogy: with gratitude, Morrison says, we get through the pandemic, “from one sunrise until the next; until we hit the finish line.” 

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Late stage, world altering pandemics, like gruelling ultra-marathons, can and do grind us down (consider historical accounts of the Spanish Flu).  Pandemics (and marathons) do so by forcing us to confront our own mortality, our own rationale and faith for living.

This may be why these lines from Rabindranath Tagore always cause me to reflect on the marginal spaces we occupy–some of us more intensely now than ever before:

“Death is not the extinguishing of light; it is only putting out the lamp because the dawn has come.” 

And now it’s your turn: do you find the analogy between marathon running and pandemic life helpful? Please tell me on my “comments” page what thoughtful supports you are finding. I’d  be delighted to hear from you. 

The UK-based training organization, TEFL.org, from which I received certification last winter in ESL teaching, recommends the website, “GrammarCheck.net” (https://www.grammarcheck.net/) as a resource for teaching new learners of English.

I was glad to see the site address the problem of “awesome”—a linguistic bugbear of mine (and maybe yours, too)?

“Awesome,” although no longer in its heyday, still continues to be an overused word in the English language. As their contributor, Jennifer, writes, “let’s stop using it as a default every time we’re too lazy, busy, insecure,” etc., to think of a more precise word.

“Awesome” is now nearly passe: “It no longer makes you sound cool.” I found it hard to hear coming from the mouths of 80+ year olds near me, nearly ten years ago.

If you feel tempted, especially in spoken English, to say something is “awesome,” you could consider these better (more precise) options:

• unimaginable
• unanticipated
• phenomenal
• remarkable
• unbelievable
• breathtaking
• tremendous
• unexpected
• spectacular
• unthinkable
• unforeseen
• significant
• stunning
• startling
• splendid
• wonderful
• overwhelming
• stupefying

The diversity in meaning of the terms in the list above reflects just how sloppy  (i.e imprecise) it is to use a “catch-all” term like “awesome.”

For all writers and readers (including my ESL students), the sooner we think more precisely than speaking or writing the term “awesome,”  the sooner we elevate the quality of our communication.

And that can only be a good thing, say teachers of English at every level!

And now it’s your turn: have you used “awesome” as a descriptor in spoken or written English? What happens when you replace it with one of the above alternatives? Please share your linguistic bugbears with me. I’d be delighted to use them in future postings.

 

On April 1st, live-streamed over KnowYXE television, community and regional planner (Founder of Prairie Wild Consulting), researcher and host of CFCR’s “Civically Speaking,” Lenore Swystun, moderated a 90 minute conversation with a panel of Saskatchewan business experts, on how we as a province have navigated Covid-19.

Panelists included (in alphabetical order):  Jason Aebig (CEO, Greater Saskatoon Chamber of Commerce), Jim Bence (CEO and President of Hospitality SK), Ashley Charles (CEO, Prince Albert Regional Economic Development Alliance—PAREDA), Monica Kreuger (Chair, Saskatchewan Chamber; CTV Citizen of the Year, Saskatoon) and Judith Veresuk (Executive Director, Regina Downtown Business Improvement District).

Associate moderators were Anika Mysha, Madhurja Ghosh and Rashid.

Panelists took five concepts or questions as starting points for their discussion:

(1) The pandemic has revealed how much our Saskatchewan communities rely on the business industry. 

Judith Veresuk observed that in pre-Covid times, 30K people would daily use downtown Regina, many of them office-related workers who have since gone away. Their counterparts in the suburbs have had an easier time because they have been able to work at homes that are closer to their places of business.

No urban downtown can function well with that kind of a loss in numbers.

Jim Bence spoke about the pain being felt by urban, downtown hotels and restaurants. Those still open are paying their bills each month, but don’t know if they’ll manage next month. Fixed costs on large property can be $250K/month. With no revenue, who can survive?

Bence said that the provincial government has helped businesses to survive, but if the industry loses the summer season and conference season (September to November), it will be on the brink. Currently, industry leaders are “balancing many plates in the air” and find hope in the ingenuity and resilience of its members.

The second question for discussion was this:

(2) What are some of the key things business organizations have done to endure Covid-19?

Monica Kreuger said that the team at Global Infobrokers, including the Praxis School of Entrepreneurship, is keeping well despite Covid fatigue. There have been positives, like the money saved on gas for her to commute between Regina, Craik and Saskatoon, but then that industry has simultaneously suffered. Her team and associates have strived to make optimal use of the “down time,” to put skills and programming “in our wheelhouse to get ready for down the road.”

Kreuger said they’ve had lots of innovation, they’ve asked what are the changing needs of the people we serve, how do we come out to the other side of the pandemic? The PSE has started new relationships with people, worked in collaboration and in new ways, “stepping out of silos, that we should leave behind,” post-Covid.

Ashley Charles said it’s no surprise that Prince Albert Tourism has been badly hit. They have been challenged to meet health and safety standards. She said that it’s been especially challenging to start PAREDA in the chaos, with everyone scrambling to learn Zoom, with small businesses needing provincial and federal grants and capital that can only be accessed by detailed application procedures.

Jason Aebig said the pandemic has been top-of-mind for the Saskatoon Chamber, as it tries to connect with business owners and to assess risk, encourage pivoting or altering operations, and then to attend to members’ needs, such as having children in school, and how families cope in the pandemic. He said that the Chamber has seen the “personal toll of Covid on businesses and business owners who are exhausted, hanging on by their fingernails.”

Aebig observed that the Chamber is paying particular attention to health and wellness, asking its members what support they need and “showing up differently.” He said the Saskatoon Chamber has been discussing the economic determinants of health, recognizing that financial security is a major part of a community’s overall recovery. Members seek stability of income, investment and sector-specific advocacy. The Saskatoon Chamber has been actively managing cases of more than 60 members who were challenged with applying for grants and programs to secure rapid relief.

The Chamber and related organizations have had to be strong “to keep the lights on and to give entrepreneurs reason for optimism.”

Kreuger commented that the SK Chamber is still working on developing a strategic plan and continues with online training to help the community keep connected (e.g., the “growSMART” program, led by Kreuger and Deanna Litz). “Programming has focused on how to stay in business and even to grow.” Respondents to programming said collaboration with others has enabled them to see that entrepreneurship is not a solo effort and that collaboration is needed for every business—it’s an insight that has been illumined by Covid.

Focusing on “shopping local” is essential during Covid and after. The SK Chamber has not stopped advocating for businesses with the provincial and federal governments. The PSE has helped businesses to apply for strategic grants to keep their lights on.

Charles said that PAREDA did not implement the strategic plan it had in place, because Covid left members scrambling. Energy focused on going online, creating a website, trying to build momentum and get an investment strategy that would see Prince Albert and area benefit. How can they approach large companies and ask them to set up businesses in PA?

PAREDA has focused on activities of “response, recovery and resilience.”

Veresuk reflected similarly that the Regina BID has increased its communication with business owners to help them to apply for emergency grants, by acting as a connector. She observed that the pandemic has exposed the prominence and visibility of individuals with mental health issues, when downtown homeless shelters were also closed. Regular downtown businesses and office staff were concerned for street people, so that the BID accelerated its program, now about to launch, called “Our Community Support Program.” This links service providers with people in great need, so that law enforcement does not have to participate.

Bence said that the hospitality industry was hit early on and will be the last to recover, because no one is moving around and attending events. The “Profit and Loss sheets” show that “losses are staggering.” So they keep balancing plates in the air of (i) liquidity and (ii) mental health and wellness, mounting webinars and podcasts that are open to all.

Humans, he says, are intrinsically social beings. We “love to communicate with others and to party,” but currently, “we’re all at home, isolated, worried about job security, which can lead to alcoholism, financial ruin (esp. in the 55-65 year age range) for those not eligible for insurance but having their mortgages called in,” etc. He says the organization holds wellness checks with some of its members, via the RCMP, and that four out of five suicides occur by men.

The hospitality industry has started developing a program for mental health and wellness specific to its employees. 

The third question for discussion was this:

(3) How can businesses deliver better outcomes in times of crises like these?

Charles said one has to ensure that one’s organization is online and can pivot quickly to respond to members’ needs.

Aebig said we shouldn’t think the business community is homogenous, when it has different practices. Saskatoon businesses’ longevity has depended on their capacity for three things: (i) changed physical space (working from home, staying 12 feet apart); (ii) increased their use of technology—moving into online sales; uptake with technology in the province is the highest in the country; (iii) workplace considerations, including policies and practices to work from home.

Veresuk said that for some businesses, 2020/2021 has proven to be the best year ever. Use of technology (such as electronic take-out ordering and delivery) in the food industry has been crucial to its resilience. Equally important is that marketing messaging should not scare customers away. Regina is currently in a lockdown due to the intensity of “variant” cases. But she says consumer confidence should simultaneously increase if businesses are to benefit. So businesses need to appeal to loyal clientele with stories of how they’re coping and keeping the public safe.

Bence agreed that consumer confidence is key in going forward and that the hospitality industry can stress its own responsibility and accountability. Hotels are at the top of safety standards and (with the exception of a few outliers), most are safer than home-based teenage drinking parties and the like. But hotels need to think creatively about how to pivot and reimagine their  services.

Kreuger said pandemic times are excellent in getting to know one’s customers better and what their new needs are. Chambers have done surveys to establish these things. It’s also an excellent time to scale up by taking courses, by learning to digitize with technology—there are lots of resources available for businesses to grow (now more than ever). Businesses can get the support of clients to collaborate on ideas and feedback. It’s a great time to explore pain points and how they can be addressed as opportunities for growth. Small groups meeting virtually will continue. We are all also ready for in-person, large scale events, too.

The fourth question for discussion (raised by Ghosh) was this:

(4) How do we increase diversity in our entrepreneurial and educational communities (as the pandemic ends)? 

Kreuger commented that diversity in the business community serves everyone. Saskatchewan has welcomed diverse populations, notably in our two universities and at SK Polytechnic.  We have online virtual sessions for newcomers. We need to think about how to lay out the “welcome mat” to new immigrants or to people from other areas, so we have a robust number of entrepreneurs and customers entering our doors.

Aebig said that newcomers are crucial to the business community, such as by supplying the workforce that is trying to build us out of Covid. A painful reality is that skilled newcomers to SK have lost a year of their service or human capital to Covid. 

Charles said that attracting fewer immigrants to SK affects Prince Albert’s business model. This is a good time to strategize on how to appeal better to newcomers, to promote PA and SK as great places to live and work. Videos and website resources can extend PAREDA’s reach.

Veresuk said that we need to market our communities as good places to live and work. Regina’s low housing costs create an opportunity for home ownership. But there is too much property available “for lease” in downtown Regina: we must market these spaces to everyone, including newcomers.

Bence said his industry relies heavily on newcomers, so their reduced immigration points to a looming crisis in already crisis-ridden times. Saskatchewan’s available labour pool is very low for the hospitality industry. A pathway to permanent residency and citizenship should be service in his industry—the industry will only grow when there’s a better, more stable, pool of labour in place.

The final question for discussion was this:

(5) What supports are needed from the governments, as the pandemic ends, especially when provincial and federal budgets are about to be released?

Aebig observed that there’s a “terrible gap where businesses under two years old” can’t qualify for support and are “hamstrung and needing oxygen to survive.”

Kreuger said that entrepreneurs need to scale up and out by tapping into the “Re-Open Saskatchewan Training” incentive. If an owner can scale, they bring staff with them. Also, the SK Chamber advocates for companies to digitize. Digitization isn’t only about selling, but about how to take companies to the next level. Government investment there would be welcome and well-invested.

Veresuk referred to the “Digital Mainstream” program from the Government of Ontario, that went out to AB, and NS, as well, but SK has hovered around a decision to use it.  It addresses how small businesses can become resilient by digitization, which dovetails with downtown development, because downtown infrastructure has capacity to get projects off the ground, as Covid ends.

Charles said that investment in infrastructure in smaller and rural centres needs to increase, so that everyone has digital connectivity in their homes.

Bence said that at least the government understands the crisis and the need for supports. Allowing for more use of Video Lottery Terminals (VLTs) has helped some bar and restaurant owners to survive. There should also be a cap on third-party delivery of food and alcohol, because most operators are losing out to “Skip the Dishes” or “Doordash.”

By the beginning of 2022, Bence predicts that the hospitality industry could have lost a lot of businesses. He asks what would happen to the retail market if hotels and similar services are gone? What would it be replaced by, year after year? He says entrepreneurs need to discuss these questions with mayors and city councils, about how much could be lost in losing the downtown.

Swystun and fellow moderators referred to a frustrating stigma experienced by entrepreneurs and other business members who report that the public says all they care about is staying open to make money—heedless of public safety. Swystun commented that all businesses are owned and run by people, the vast majority of which follow public safety protocol.

Kreuger said she has not heard an “open or nothing” philosophy amongst entrepreneurs.

Veresuk said that some businesses that remained open were not eligible for subsidies (CERB) and were simply trying to survive. 

Aebig said there is a polarizing effect from an economic downturn when most businesses are bending over backwards to keep employers and customers safe. Four hundred and thirty-six people have died of Covid in SK. But another tragedy would be the forcible closure of all businesses: “Be careful. Exercise caution. Let’s be as precise and targeted in our strategy as we move ahead.” This is “not an open or nothing strategy.”

When concluding, Bence commented that the business and medical communities want the same things and are not really at odds. We have to “take care of ourselves (including our employees) before we can care for others (customers).” Statistics in Alberta show that only 0.8% of transmissions of Covid occur in the hospitality industry. Most cases occur elsewhere. There are intrinsic damages done to health and wellness of a population when hospitality is taken away.

Similarly, as Charles said, there must be ways to reduce the challenges that arise from striving to get onboard with health standards by new and small-town businesses.

And now it’s your turn: are you an entrepreneur in Saskatchewan, striving to survive these late pandemic times? Do you agree with the points made by this business panel? Please weigh in on my “contact” page. I’d be delighted to hear from you.