January 2025 Vol 7 Issue 1
Tell your Story Newsletter (TYSN):
Teaching English-as-a-Second Language
Let us help you tell your story!
Welcome Mid-January 2025!
The first days of Saskatoon’s new year started in the minus twenties and descended further for most of the week that followed.
Now, two weeks into the month, we are in our second brief climactic reprieve. Today’s warmth is so welcome, as such days allow us to catch our breath and walk or exercise outdoors, before “Ol’ Man Winter” returns (this weekend)!
In “Article One” this month, I revisit one of my favourite (non-fiction) books of all time—(the late) Susan Jeffers’ Embracing Uncertainty: Breakthrough Methods for Achieving Peace of Mind When Facing the Unknown (2008). Whether you have been making “New Year’s resolutions” or planning the next calendar year, Jeffers’ stalwart wisdom and realism provide some unexpected (i.e. counterintuitive) guidance.
The book provides a path to finding some inner-peace when these times find us enmired in a world of political unrest, soaring inflation, fierce conflict and wars.
In “Storytellers’ Corner” this month, I revisit an infographic from “GrammarCheck” that first appeared as a meme on Facebook. I share 10 of the source’s 33 misused words or phrases, explaining the correct form of each. Some of these may be errors you’ve made for years!
And in “Shop News,” I provide some new “thank-yous” to friends and supporters who have recently helped me with growing my ESL teaching business, and so put a “spring in my step,” even during one of winter’s harshest months.
Few would doubt that these are challenging times. But I hope that you, good reader, will continue with your work and the witness it bears to the justice, kindness and humility that still flourish in our community.
As you do that work, I especially hope you’ll treat yourself with kindness—as you would a loved one or friend—as part of the inner-peace each of us deserves.
Through the physical and emotional warmth cultivated indoors by reading books or sharing conversation. . . may the best of winter be with you, good readers, as we carve our pathways through another new year.
Sincerely,
Elizabeth
Principal
Storytelling Communications
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IN THIS ISSUE:
ARTICLE 1: Want to find inner-peace in 2025? Here’s one way
STORYTELLERS’ CORNER:
Ten troubling words and phrases (from GrammarCheck)
SHOP NEWS
ABOUT US
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Article One: Want to find inner-peace in 2025? Here’s one way
Any of my readers born before the mid-1970s may remember the famously titled self-help book, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway (1988). Twenty years later, its author, American psychologist Susan Jeffers, wrote a far subtler and more convincing volume on life’s uncertainty—how “to stop trying to control the uncontrollable.”
Many of Jeffers’ insights in Embracing Uncertainty: Breakthrough Methods for Achieving Peace of Mind When Facing the Unknown (2008) are more relevant to us now in 2025 than ever before.
Jeffers has heard many patients express the anxiety that has come as scientific technologies overwhelm us, breaking down long-held traditions in life, culture, religion and work. Acts of terrorism and violence embody a threat that has become a “new normal” of 21st century life.
Uncertainty characterizes all of our lives, because we do not know what the future holds— not only as entrepreneurs, but simply as people.
Society teaches us to try to control everything, including our careers, relationships, children, health, money, the state of the world, and so on. Jeffers says we unconsciously expect that life should be certain, safe and predictable and we are uncomfortable (even panicked) about life’s increasing uncertainty.
We pop pills to decrease our anxiety or go into denial (acting vainly to try to make life safe), become addicted to work and digital devices that take our minds off the reality that we have so little control.
Jeffers says that, sadly, we often spend so much of our lives worrying and trying to prevent the bad from happening that we forget to enjoy what’s good. And so we waste our very lives. She argues that we need to find a way to enjoy “a rich, joyous, abundant life” that can exist “in the presence of uncertainty” (5). Uncertainty may actually make life wonderful, however counterintuitively that sounds.
Jeffers identifies three challenging realities we need to accept so we can paradoxically make uncertainty easier for ourselves:
Reality #1:
“The only certainty is that life is uncertain”—if we truly believe that life is uncertain, we don’t look for “guarantees.” We must surrender to the reality that we “control nothing about the future” and view that as an affirmation, not as bad news. So: we must let go of the hope that we can create anything certain in our lives (8).
Reality #2:
“Once you surrender to the fact that you’re unable to control [life’s] uncertainty,” “you will, at last, be able to breathe a sigh of relief” (8). That may sound like a tall order.
But when we reach a state of “surrender,” we can’t help but feel peace because we stop struggling to do the impossible. We recognize that it’s a delusion to think we can control everything. So when we let go of the outcome of any situation, we experience calm, peace and rest. We can look for ways of being that actually embrace the uncertain nature of life itself. How amazing such a philosophy can be for entrepreneurs who by necessity work without safety nets (e.g. uncertain markets, clients, income, etc.).
Reality #3:
Jeffers contends that when we accept deeply that life is uncertain, it opens the door to a more powerful way to live. We look instead for the valuable gifts inherent in each of us, no matter how bad things may seem in any given moment.
Finding the gifts in each moment minimizes and “can even erase” our suffering. We look instead for a way of being in the world that assures us that we can handle whatever life hands us. So we live with a “bring it on” attitude, knowing that we can face anything that comes our way (10). We view uncertainty no longer as something to fear, but as an “enriching” aspect of life.
In other words, instead of wallowing in distress over not being able to create certainty in life, we can find delight and purpose as we explore our own power to deal with uncertainty. Jeffers writes: “There is great adventure in the unknown that propels us to discover powerful parts of ourselves that we didn’t know were there” (11).
Every new moment, day or experience (good or bad) brings a challenge and sense of wonder to us, she says: “The trick is to learn to love the uncertainty of it all . . . to find, at last, the great satisfaction, the great joy and the great opportunity that lies within the uncertainty” (11).
Jeffers stresses that we all have a choice to make—to live “unhappy, exhausted and with futility” (by “soul-destroying ways of thinking and being”) or with a sense of excitement and possibility about uncertainty. In Embracing Uncertainty she provides 42 exercises to drop the old pattern (seeking certainty) and instead to embrace life as a “grand adventure” because it is uncertain.
When we open ourselves up to uncertainty, we can see “the beauty, miracle, joy and possibility in it all” (13), she writes. In this light, we realize that there will be no truly terrible thing in our future, if we can find the learning and growth that come from it, and convert our upset, panic and uncertainty into learning and growth.
Even if things go wrong, we can be an adventurer rather than a worrier or victim, wondering “What can I learn from this,” and “I wonder how this will all turn out” and “I wonder what I’ll learn from this?”
It’s better ultimately to be excited by uncertainty than miserable about it.
Jeffers contrasts the “Lower Self” (similar to the “Lizard Brain” in Seth Godin) as one filled with insecurity, doubt, pain, fear; to the “Higher Self,” filled with peace, confidence, power and love. Life always looks better from the latter self and there we find the power to embrace uncertainty.
When you live by “wondering,” she writes, you are open to both life’s positive and negative aspects. That allows you to relax as the future unfolds, not inflating your mind with hopes and expectations that can easily be dashed. You observe (but do not attach to) the facts and your emotions. (This awareness taps into Buddhist philosophy.)
By contrast, when one lives by “hoping,” the dashing of your hopes leaves you unhappy and depressed. Those invested in hope tend to have blind certainty, want to be sure about everything and a stubborn need to be right (as a “know it all”).
Jeffers insists that wisdom inheres instead in knowing that we “know nothing” for certain. So we need to be open to wonder and to the adventure of learning. We can let go of how we think “life’s supposed to go,” and feel curious about what may happen. She offers this (buddhist-inspired) statement:
“Don’t wish for it to happen.
Don’t wish for it not to happen
Just watch it happen.
Let the wonder of life unfold” (25).
We need to try to observe our own lives and avoid being caught up in their drama, because it’s hard amidst much drama to embrace uncertainty.
Embracing the uncertainty includes cultivating emotions like wonder, curiosity, humour, love and trust that are more powerful when based in a spiritual realm (which will differ among us—whether we choose God or another creative source of goodness in the universe).
When we work on embracing uncertainty, we can ultimately say, “bring it all on,” because we know that we’re up to the challenge and that life is “hard for the fun of it” (266). Moreover, our creativity thrives in the questions that flow from existential uncertainty.
One thing we can do is take time as we live out this philosophy, recognizing that spiritual change takes place slowly and that joy comes from patience. Jeffers suggests another mantra: “I let go and trust that it’s all happening perfectly,” because if we can learn and grow from it all, “it all is happening perfectly.”
In this, one’s power is a state of consciousness (not a force to control people or events): We trust our own power to know we can handle it all. “Trust that whatever you need will be there. And if it isn’t, trust yourself to find it” (279).
There are potentially endless uncertainties in our entrepreneurial, professional and personal journeys, which no degree program, workshop or great book can make safe. That should not be our goal. I still recommend Jeffers’ volume highly, including its exercises, as worthy companions for these journeys.
Now it’s your turn: how do you deal with uncertainty in your life and work? Do Jeffers’ insights make it easier to “embrace” uncertainty, rather than fear it?
Update: In late 2024, I gave a copy of Jeffers’ book to a friend who was facing life-altering surgery at a young age. She found helpful, as I have. I hope you will, too.
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STORYTELLERS’ CORNER . . . .
STORYTELLERS’ CORNER: Words, Stories, Riddles and Jokes on Writing and Editing . . .
This month: Ten troubling words and phrases (with thanks to GrammarCheck)
Through a meme on Facebook, I recently saw an online posting from “GrammarCheck” on “33 Commonly misunderstood words and phrases.”
The content of the posting is relevant to newcomers and other ESL learners, as well as to native speakers of English, since all of us regularly misunderstand these words and phrases.
The cause of such errors (as “GrammarCheck” notes) can be poor hearing, lack of comprehension of words, and/or speakers’ errors in informal conversation–all of which can confuse listeners. Some listeners then start or else continue to misuse the word or phrase!
Although GrammarCheck’s posting includes 33 words and phrases, for this month, I’ve selected just 10 for your reading pleasure, (aggravation or clarity)! Here they are:
(1) “Lie/Lay” — Each of these words is often misused for the other. Here, “lie” means to recline or rest on a surface in a flat position. (“I lie the cat down on the bed”). By contrast, “lay” means to place something on a surface or location. (“I lay the tapestry on the table for viewing.”)
(2) “Supposed” — This word is often misused to mean “suppose to,” but the latter errs by not including the letter “d.” The correct form would be “supposed to.” (“I was supposed to write my paper, but was interrupted by my roommate.”)
(3) “Should have” — has a clear meaning. However, “should of” is not proper English. (“They should have cleaned the house before they left on holiday.”)
(4) “Literally” — This word is often misused to express intensity, when it instead implies something that is completely true. So, don’t use “literally” unless to express exactness, recorded fact. (“She spoke literally the words of the agreement, as they appeared on the page.”)
(5) “Toward/Afterward/Anyway”— These words are all correct, but never should end with “s.” Therefore, “towards,” “afterwards,” and “anyways” are all incorrect, however commonly we use them in spoken English. (“He moved toward the worktable where she was painting; looked afterward at the mess she made, and left it all for the owners of the building, anyway.”)
(6) “Fewer/Less” — “Fewer” is used to refer to things you can physically count, while “less” refers to things you cannot count. I learned this distinction as late as graduate school and often find it as an error in mainstream media. (“We would make fewer errors in our experiment if students poured less water down the gully.”)
(7) “Farther/Further” — “Farther” refers to distance. “Further” means advancement. (“Let’s walk farther toward the road to further our conversation.”)
(8) “Wreak havoc” — This phrase is often misused in the form of “wreck havoc.” To “wreak havoc” means to cause chaos. The faulty form has no meaning. (“The storm will wreak havoc with power lines and cell towers.”)
(9) “Another think coming” — This phrase may appear laughable, when it’s actually correct! The mistaken form is “another thing coming.” In fact, “another think coming” means that you have another thought that is coming to mind, as you speak. (“Give me more time to consider your question, as I have another think coming.”)
(10) “Climactic/Climatic” — These words are often confused for each other. “Climactic” refers to something that reaches a “climax.” By contrast, “climatic” refers to the “climate” or weather of a place. As you can imagine, we must pronounce each of these terms carefully and listeners must listen carefully to us, if the distinction is to be understood. (“The weatherman’s anti-climactic style of presentation still provided climatic advice that the travellers needed.”)
Do you have questions about specific words or expressions you cannot answer? Please send them to me, via my “contact” page (www.storytellingcommunications.ca/contact). I’d be delighted to use them in a future issue!
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SHOP NEWS:
Thank you to the team of Women Entrepreneurs of SK (WESK) for hosting another networking event this month, this time featuring the entrepreneurial insights of Praxis School of Entrepreneurship alumna, interior designer, Miranda Young (of Broadway Ave and Main Street’s “Alt Haus” design store). Miranda is an entrepreneurial visionary, who shared her perspective on persevering through times of professional challenges and difficulties, like those most of us face, at some time or other. Do please check out Alt Haus with its wonderfully creative atmosphere and commitment to Canadian and local suppliers. I also encourage you to participate in WESK’s programming (www.wesk.ca) to benefit from the stories, sharing and expertise their events provide. ++++++++ My gratitude goes this month to my colleague, former student and friend, William Wang, Director, China Offices of Alberta; and Chair of International Relations, Executive Council, Government of Alberta. William has promoted my English language teaching services over WhatsApp to local Asian entrepreneurs. William has very graciously done this while refusing to send a modest coffee card or any other “thank you.” I thoroughly enjoyed the classes I shared with him last summer and fall and will return some of his welcome generosity when we meet in-person– perhaps when he least expects it—ha ha! May the “Year of the Snake” (2025) be a hospitable and prosperous one for you, William! ++++++++ While musing on connections with Asia, I must add my special thanks this month to the always modest Trung Nguyen, an elder of my church, founding member of Saskatoon Open Door Society; and to Kayson Tran, administrator of social media for Saskatoon Vietnamese Association (SVA). These fine folk published my teaching poster on the SVA’s Facebook page this month. The association is hosting its annual Lunar New Year Celebration on January 18th (tickets have sold out), after months of committed organizing its tireless volunteers, spearheaded by Trung and Kayson. The New Year’s gala will include Mayor Cynthia Block, MLA Kevin Waugh and MP Brad Redekopp. The same team of Vietnamese-Canadians (including Trung and Kayson) will similarly organize another engaging pavilion at next summer’s “Folkfest,” as they have, for decades. I encourage you to attend “Folkfest,” as I plan to, and to meet the welcoming and very sociable members of our local Vietnamese community. Some of these members, like Trung, have called Canada “home” for most (or all) of their adult lives. They have quietly raised the next generation (or two) of Vietnamese-Saskatchewanians and pioneered the work of settlement agencies, such as the Saskatoon Open Door Society. Thank you, Trung and Kayson! ++++++++ Thank you to the service staff at CartoonStock Ltd ( www.cartoonstock.com ), especially Sean Hanley-Horwood, who have answered my questions when I’ve purchased a license and cartoons from them (in Bath, England) for my LinkedIn prospecting. When any technical glitches have arisen on their website, the support staff have been a great help. I admire CartoonStock’s growing bank of cartoons and capacious licensing terms. Thank you, friends at CartoonStock! ++++++++ There are always new “thank-yous” to share and new businesses and entrepreneurs to promote. But this is a wrap for mid-January, 2025! ++++++++ ABOUT US: Between 2011 and December 2018, Elizabeth Shih Communications chronicled the stories of B2B marketing and communications on the Prairies and across the country. Effective January 1, 2019, I rebranded as “Storytelling Communications.” I now help newcomers to Canada find better jobs or secure better contracts by improving their English skills; and I also write and edit the legacy stories of major companies. Interested in learning more? Please contact me through my CASL-compliant website (www.elizabethshih.com). After I receive your message, I’ll be pleased to discuss projects with you! Please visit my website for more information (www.storytellingcommunications.ca). ++++++++ |