Category: Newsletters

November 2021 Vol 3 Issue 11

Tell Your Story Newsletter (TYSN):
Specializing in Entrepreneurial and Organizational Storytelling
Let me tell your story!

IN THIS ISSUE:

ARTICLE 1: Want relief from anxiety? Here’s a breakthrough solution . . .

STORYTELLERS’ CORNER:  Should we be waiting on “tenderhooks” or “tenterhooks?” The Australian Writers’ Centre has the answer!

SHOP NEWS

ABOUT US
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Welcome Mid-November 2021!

As I prepare this issue of “Tell Your Story Newsletter,” we have had our first serious snowfall of the winter, in Saskatoon. The snow (and ice) appear to be staying. But the weather has been mild, most days, which buoys our spirits.
In this month’s newsletter, I provide a lengthy report on American Dr. Judson (Jud) Brewer’s new and transformational book on anxiety. “Article One” is not so much a review as a “digest” or summary of Brewer’s book.

He finds that mindfulness can offer a significant and straightforward alternative to the ineffectiveness of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). And who among us doesn’t have anxiety, in these late pandemic times? Virtually everyone who does, wants to be free of it. Brewer may help to get us
there.

In “Storytellers’ Corner,” I visit the Australian Writers’ Centre posting on the following usage question: should we be waiting for the future on “tenderhooks,” or “tenterhooks?”

May the best of winter–the physical and emotional warmth that can be cultivated indoors, by sharing stories by a crackling fire–may the best of winter be with you, good readers, as we approach the end of this trying year.

Sincerely,
Elizabeth
Principal
Storytelling Communications
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Article One: Special Report–Want relief from anxiety? A report
on curiosity as a breakthrough solution (from Neuroscientist Dr.
Judson Brewer)

The worldwide Coronavirus pandemic has become one of the most
anxious times of the past century—rivalled perhaps only by the
Spanish Flu and the two World Wars.

Twenty-one months into Covid-19 times, many of us feel deeply
worried about our families and careers, often expressing overwhelm
that our lives no longer seem to be under our control.

But in his recent book, Unwinding Anxiety: New Science Shows How
to Break the Cycles of Worry and Fear to Heal Your Mind, esteemed
neuroscientist, psychiatrist and TEDTalk speaker, Dr. Judson (Jud)
Brewer, describes how to address anxiety at its source, using brainbased techniques and interventions accessible to everyone.

For this issue of TYSN alone, I present here a full-length summary of
Brewer’s book: If, as some of my readers tell me, you have no time to
read the book, but are deeply troubled by anxiety, think of this
summary as a primer, intended to help you get some relief.

Brewer defines anxiety as a “feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease,
typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain
outcome” (38).

When uncertainty abounds, we get anxious. Anxiety always makes us
feel that we must “Do something,” even though it’s seldom clear what
that “something” is.

Brewer explains that anxiety becomes a trigger that urges the ancient
part of our brains to figure out what to do (what behaviour to engage
in) to secure a solution (which infrequently happens). Describing
anxiety as occurring in a sequence from “trigger” to “behaviour” to
“result,” Brewer likens the experience to playing a “slot machine in a
casino,” where one “wins just enough times that we keep coming back
for more.”

When we worry (another kind of behaviour), that often results in
feelings of anxiety. But the anxiety can then trigger the behaviour of
worrying, which results in feeling yet more anxiety, over and over
again. Brewer calls this a “habit loop.”

 

 

Our brains become habituated to worry, resorting to it every time we
feel anxious. But it’s a bad habit, because worry is never productive
and does not help us to think creatively or to solve our problems.
Instead, Brewer says, “it pushes a panic button that gets us running
around, trying anything to get the anxiety to go away.” We can easily
become anxious about being anxious.

Activities like checking our smartphones for social media or email
messages, or trying to read some of the daily news might seem to
relieve our anxiety. But they actually only create new habits that we
use to distract ourselves, when we feel stressed or anxious. These
distractions also fail, so we keep seeking other solutions.
Brewer writes that “the failure of the distraction to eliminate the worry
can lead to more worrying, so that “worry thinking becomes its own
trigger.” Then, “even though worrying doesn’t work, our old brain
keeps trying” (40). The illusion that we are doing something can feel
rewarding in itself, when in fact we’re mentally “spinning out of
control.”

Brewer “maps out” the dilemma on paper, this way (and we can, too):
Trigger: Anxiety;
Behaviour: Worry;
Result: We feel more anxious. And on and on the “habit loop” goes.

Fear + Uncertainty = Anxiety: in the realities of 21st century life,
our old brains’ survival system is useless to us. Brewer recommends
that we first identify the circumstances or “habit loops” we fall back
on, by “mapping out” what their trigger, behaviour and results are.
Anxiety can vary “from mild unease to full-blown panic” and it’s good
to know that Brewer himself has experienced that whole range of
emotions and treated himself with mindfulness.

But much of the force of his book lies in his analysis that anxiety drives the very addictive behaviours and bad habits that we use to cope (e.g. stress-based eating, procrastination, scrolling through negative news and unreliable
social media, alcohol and narcotics). Anxiety lives in a part of the
brain that resists rational thought.

So we get stuck in anxiety “habit loops,” the reality is that “we can’t
think our way out of or use willpower to overcome” these
emotions. Thinking and willpower cannot free us from anxiety,
however much Cognitive and Behavioural Therapists (CBT) have
argued otherwise (for the past 25+ years). And the failure of CBT to
alleviate anxiety has only allowed that anxiety to become intensified–
an epidemic of our times.

The definition of addiction, Brewer writes, is “continued use [of
anything] despite adverse consequences” (28). For many of us,
anxiety itself has paradoxically become an addiction.

 

 

He writes: “On the surface it seems like anxiety helps us get things
done” so that, for instance, “worrying helps us protect our children
from harm.” But the science shows the opposite. Addiction abounds
with anxiety and worry, so that we eat, shop, play computer games,
gamble, date online, check social media, etc., obsessively.

Addiction has always been with us, but in contemporary days, Brewer
confirms that it has intensified: “The rate of change in our world over
the last 24 years far outstrips all of the changes in the previous 200
years. Our brains and bodies haven’t kept up and it’s killing us” (29).
An example Brewer gives to contrast current civilization with the past
is the process we use to buy a pair of new shoes. In the 1800s, it was
“a two-month process. Now it’s a two minute, two-click fix, which
keeps you buying more and more shoes” and debiting your bank
account, along the way.

In these 21st Century days, high individualism and reason (dating to
the Age of Enlightenment) have us believe that our strength lies in our
ability to think critically (160). But our willpower and mental
associations pale in power next to our deepest desires (which easily
turn into habits).

Uncertainty triggers anxiety, which in turn can lead to panic. Brewer
writes that people should understand “that anxious feelings are their
[old] survival brain kicking into high gear” (23).

Many parents report these days that their teenagers are suffering panic
attacks in these pandemic times. The uncertainty caused by Covid-19
produces fear, which triggers anxiety and (again) results in more
panic.

Reward-based learning was helpful in cave-person days. (We saw
food, we ate it, we survived, we felt good, so we repeated it.) Every
time you perform that behaviour, you reinforce the neural pathway. In
this century, the trigger is no longer hunger, but an emotional signal,
so feeling sad, mad, hurt, lonely, bored and so on, can trigger bad
habits.

And bad habits are not just about binge eating/smoking or watching
Netflix or one’s smartphone apps, etc. The result/reward is
“avoidance, procrastination, or the opposite,” such as overplanning
and workaholism. We remain stuck in the habit loop.

 

 

Brewer writes that “with the same brain mechanism as an unnamed
cave person, we modern geniuses have gone from learning to survive
to literally killing ourselves, with these habits.” And he adds that it’s
gotten “exponentially worse in the last 20 years” (33).

“Anxiety disorders” are predominant, since our brains have tricked us
into thinking that we need to be anxious to get things done and to
perform well. But he says that “anxiety doesn’t actually improve
performance.”

Once we are aware that our behaviour is not helping us to survive and
that anxiety is very unrewarding, we can bring to our minds a “bigger,
better offer” (BBO). We can give up old, habitual behaviours for those
that are genuinely rewarding. Here Brewer names curiosity as an
alternative.

He tells us to “discover our triggers, defuse them with the simple but
powerful practice of curiosity, and to train our brains using
mindfulness” to achieve peace of mind.

He says that practicing mindful curiosity involves little cost (unless
you sign up, panicked, for his online app and program) and “can
readily be applied for anyone to feel better—no matter how anxious
[we] feel.”

Newer layers of the brain responsible for thinking, creativity and
decision making are layered over the archaic/old brain that evolved to
help us to survive (e.g. from trigger to result). But we still fall back on
willpower, as a default belief.

Using the analogy of a rider, bucked by a wild horse, Brewer says
we’re focused so much on the rider (i.e. our willpower) that we forget
to change the ever-bucking horse (i.e. our habits and addictions).
We need to map our minds to figure out how anxiety defies our
willpower, in order to break free from the rough ride.

Part of the problem is that willpower is weaker than we think. We
cannot think our way out of anxiety: “You can’t think your way out of
a bad habit or into a good one” (149). Wishing and thinking and trying
to force behaviours to stop don’t work, b/c those efforts don’t affect
the habit’s emotional reward value. Focus needs to be on the present
moment and we need to distrust our thoughts (esp. the “shoulds” of
self-judgment).

Brewer says that we need to “become disenchanted” with old habit
loops and move on to curiosity and a different use of our minds, to
allow for change.

 

So how does he argue that we can “unwind” anxiety, by learning to be
curious? Brewer says we need to learn how to be mindful and
aware, but not necessarily to meditate. (Meditation is not always
possible for people who experience anxiety.) Cultivating curiosity is a
natural way to become “mindfully aware.”

The first step toward mindfulness is to be conscious of our feelings,
how fleeting the contentment/reward is, in the habit loop. Then
Brewer advises us to perform a mindful exercise of eating or social
media reading, so that the actual outcome gets registered in our brains
(147). This outcome replaces the old, reward-value memories (e.g.
thoughtless childhood gluttony) with today’s realities that over-eating
leads adults to weight gain, bloating, unpleasant sugar rushes and
disgust.

The next time we feel triggered to eat too much, Brewer suggests that
we go through step one to remember the disgust; disgust helps us to
drop our cravings, which makes it easier to leave the habit loops and
change our behaviour.

He uses a gear-based analogy that helps people to change, however
intense their anxiety may be. These are essential steps toward
mindfulness:

In First Gear, we map out what particular anxiety “habit loops” we
have (sketch down “Trigger, Behaviour and Reward” for each one.)

In Second Gear, we tap into our brains’ reward systems to work with
anxiety (and other addictions). The stronger the habit and the harder it
is to break. “The only sustainable way to change a habit is to
update its reward value. . . .That’s why it’s called reward-based
learning” (109). We have to confront our habits with disgust, so that
our brains can learn to change them.

In Third Gear, we tap into our own neural capacities to step away
from anxiety-related habits or addictions (like worry and
procrastination) and into new ones, such as curiosity and kindness.
This can happen with “lasting effect.” We identify and get an
internally based BBO (“Bigger, Better Object”– a reward) that helps
us step out of our old habit loops. Mindfulness substitutes smoking or
chocolate cake with curiosity.

So what is mindful curiosity, as a new behaviour, compared to stressfilled smoking and over-eating? First, there is a shift from externally
based behaviours to internally based ones (curiosity). The reward
value for curiosity feels better than anxiety” (165) and “is a great
improvement over being stuck on a hamster wheel of a habit loop”
(167).

It’s not only that cultivating curiosity is as rewarding as our old
behaviours, but also that it won’t reinforce those old habit loops. By
contrast, mere substitution strategies or behaviours habituate, leaving
us restless, contracted, and always desiring something more.
Instead of feeding our habit loops, we can allow awareness of our
minds and bodies work for us, as we move between these first, second
and third gears. Sometimes, we will succeed in moving to the third
gear quickly. Other times, we may struggle to hang on to first gear,
tenuously. Regardless, Brewer says, we’re learning to move past

 

 

a painful addiction to anxiety.

I find Brewer’s analogy of a horse and rider helpful to understand how
we get trapped in habituated behaviour.  The horse is our impulses and desires; the rider is our efforts to restrain it, especially by willpower. He writes: “Mindful awareness does not change the strength of our desires or the strength of our willpower. Instead, [mindfulness] modifies the relationship
between the two. Instead of fighting to tame the horse, you as the
rider can learn how to ride more skillfully. As awareness
harnesses the energy and power of the harmful urge, the two
harmoniously blend into one, perhaps transcending and
transforming dualities from a fight into something akin to a
dance” (167-168).

Mindfulness does ultimately give more satisfying rewards (BBO, the
“bigger, better object”) without the baggage of feeding our
cravings. Curiosity can replace sugar and nicotine as a new
behaviour, as pertaining to “kindness, wonder and joy.” Our minds
(and then bodies) become “less constricted, closed down” and instead,
more open and expansive.

So the BBO is curiosity itself, which initially lifts you out of your old
habit loop(s) and then can become “grooved” itself, as a “go to” for
your brain.

But what does Brewer actually mean by curiosity, you might ask? He says it can start simply by saying, “Hmmm, what does it feel like in
my body to be anxious . . . .” We sit temporarily with those
uncomfortable feelings, noticing but not acting upon them, without
striving to fix them. Doing so allows us to step out of the habit loop
and shift into third gear.

He even recommends thinking, “Hmmm, what does it feel like not to
be curious?” This moves us from a “fixing” mentality to a
changed awareness of our sensations and feelings.

The definition of “curiosity” is a “desire for knowledge.” It needs to be
based in interest, as Brewer recommends, or else curiosity will
become only another distraction (leaving us with unpleasantness,
restlessness, deprivation, and the drive to reduce uncertainty and “fix”
what is uncertain).

“Interest Curiosity”—what Brewer advocates—is engaged when we
want to learn more about something. It builds on reward-based
learning, that relies on positive reinforcement (doing more of what
feels good and less of what feels bad).

Brewer asserts that knowledge is as important as food and water to
human survival.

Being curious, open and expansive feels good and these traits are a
fundamental part of learning—who we are and how much better life
can become.

We have to actively work against the 21st century’s addictive forces,
by using our brains in different ways, he concludes.
The power of curiosity can’t be overestimated: Brewer cites Einstein
as famously saying that he had “no special talents” but was
“passionately curious.”

So, as we face the holiday season of Christmas, Hanukkah and the
New Year, “instead of trying to think your way out of anxiety and into
behaviour change, harness the power of your curiosity, tapping into it
as an inner resource that drives itself, because it is rewarding.”(178).

While I would decline to sign up for Brewer’s app or online

 

 

programming (some subsidies may be available for those on low
income), I do recommend that anyone who suffers serious levels of
anxiety pick up a copy of his breakthrough book.

Reading Unwinding Anxiety can help you to gain some of the freedom
Brewer’s research and insights have to offer.

And now it’s your turn. What do you think of Brewer’s strategy of
mindful curiosity? Will you try it to help to free you or your loved ones
from vexing addiction to anxiety

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STORYTELLER’s CORNER . . . .

 

 

STORYTELLER’S CORNER: Words, Stories, Riddles and Jokes on Writing
and Editing . . .

This month: Should we be waiting on “tenderhooks” or “tenterhooks?” The
Australian Writers’ Centre has the answer!

This month’s issue of “Storyteller’s Corner” visits a vexing expression. When we try to express that we are waiting impatiently for something to occur or unfold, should we write or say, “We are waiting on tenderhooks” or “We are waiting on tenterhooks?”

A pat on the back to those who voted for the latter! Writers at The Australian
Writers’ Centre (AWC) report that the origins of the word “tenterhook” date as
early as the 1300s. It refers to a small hook or bent nail that is used to hold clothonto a “tenter”–a wooden frame on which cloth is dried during manufacturing.

The AWC tells us that the Latin origin of “tenterhooks” is “tentus,” which means “to stretch,” and is the root of words such as “extend,” “tendon,” “tension” and “tenuous.”

But the functional word “tenterhooks” did not appear until the late 1400s and the phrase, “to be on tenterhooks” does not appear in any written document until 1748.

Nowadays, as the AWC remind us, the full meaning of the term is to “to be
strained or stretched with unease and nervous anticipation.”

Do you have questions about specific words or expressions you cannot answer?

Please send them to me, via my “contact” page
(www.storytellingcommunications.ca/contact). I’d be delighted to use them in a future issue!

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SHOP NEWS:

This month I’m happy to share that I now teach English as a Second
Language (ESL) online to six students. They come from the Ukraine,  Belarus, Iran, Japan and the United States. Some wish to learn conversational English to immigrate to North America or have recently moved here; others want to improve their career prospects by improving their English language skills.

I’m especially grateful to my mentor Steve Cavan, for teaching me
the ropes of a complex (sometimes bureaucratic) online teaching
world. Thank you, Steve. You are a gem and worthy recipient of
much gratitude from all whom you assist.
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I’m happy also this month to attend the Praxis School of
Entrepreneurship’s (PSE) online 2021 graduation, after having
completed the “staySMART” pilot program last winter.
When Covid was still new to us as entrepreneurs, we found support
and insights from program coaches, Monica Kreuger and Deanna
Litz, and from fellow participants, who are all previous PSE alumni.

To intermediate level entrepreneurs and to newbies, alike, I highly
recommend Praxis programming. It flourishes and supports us
through trying economic times!

For more information, call PSE’s amazing administrator, Elaine
Mantyka, at (306) 664-0500 or email her
at elainem@globalinfobrokers.ca
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ABOUT US:

Between 2011 and December 2018, Elizabeth Shih Communications chronicled the stories of B2B marketing and communications on the Prairies and across the country.

Effective January 1, 2019, I rebranded as “Storytelling Communications.”
I now help immigrants and newcomers to Canada land better jobs by improving their English skills;

I help SMEs close more sales by communicating more effectively; and I write the legacy stories of
major companies.

Interested in learning more? Please contact me through my CASL-compliant
website (www.elizabethshih.com).

After I receive your message, I’ll be pleased to discuss projects with you!
Please visit my website for more information (www.storytellingcommunications.ca)

October 2021 Vol 3 Issue 10

Tell Your Story Newsletter (TYSN):

Specializing in Entrepreneurial and Organizational Storytelling

Let me tell your story!

Welcome Mid-October 2021!

Readers who are based in Canada have recently passed the Thanksgiving holiday (October 11th). After enjoying sunshine and warmer than usual temperatures from September through ‘til Thanksgiving Day, we were shocked by snow and a few, unseasonably cold days.

But then, last weekend, temperatures of 20+ degrees Celsius returned. Such fluctuations confirm (if we needed it) that we cannot easily outpace the Covid pandemic or climate change, as global crises for our times. That knowledge, and a steady diet of related loss and conflict in our news, could bring any feeling person low.

While many Saskatchewanians dread the coming of winter, I feel prepared to embrace it. Some good comes from the cold: as a friend texted me, recently, “there is a hush that descends on the landscape when winter arrives.”

And it bears repeating that during even the severe cold of prairie winters, clouds part to stream brilliant sunshine to us! That light makes the cold more bearable. Furthermore, environmentalists emphasize the importance of winter to kill off pestilence and disease, such as pernicious species of fungi and pine beetles.

Despite the trying circumstances of these late pandemic days, I wish for you, good reader, that this late autumn will be a time to take hope in your professional accomplishments and take heart in your relationships with close family and friends.

And in this month of Thanksgiving, may each of us find gratitude for the blessings that we sometimes fail to notice but that continue to grace our lives.

Sincerely,

Elizabeth

Principal

Storytelling Communications

www.elizabethshih.com

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 IN THIS ISSUE:

ARTICLE 1: Have digital fatigue? Here’s how to cope

STORYTELLERS’ CORNER:

Should you end a story with a preposition (with Mignon Fogarty)

SHOP NEWS

ABOUT US

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Article One: Have digital fatigue? Here’s how to cope

The American organizational psychologist Adam Grant reminded readers in his October newsletter that fatigue with digital video-call platforms, like Zoom, continues to exhaust regular users. A lack of productivity and depression are two outcomes shared anecdotally by my entrepreneurial colleagues.

Grant promoted an article by Dr. Vignash Ramachandran (Stanford University) that cited four “consequences of prolonged video chats” on platforms like Zoom. Ramachandran drew on reports from the university’s Virtual Human Interaction Lab, directed by Professor Jeremy Bailenson.

In pandemic times, Ramachandran estimates that “hundreds of millions of videoconferencing calls happen daily,” as Covid health protocols keep people apart. Bailenson and his team found four outcomes of repeated video calls that contribute to “Zoom fatigue.” Do these resonate with you?

(1) Too much “close-up eye contact is highly intense.”

Ramachandran says that the amount of eye contact we use when on video calls and the large size of our facial images that we view on screens are both unnatural.

When people meet, in-person, he writes, we may look at the speaker, but also take notes, look elsewhere, move in our chairs or around the room. Even if we do not speak in the meeting, we’ll find many more people and distractions to look at, beyond the speaker.

By contrast, in Zoom, eye contract with the speaker is “dramatically increased,” even exponentially so. As a speaker to receive that much scrutiny is inherently stressful.

Bailenson also observes that depending on monitor size, faces on videoconferencing calls can appear intimidating, even leading to conflict. Or, alternatively, our closeness to others’ over-sized facial images approximates mating, as though “you’re with somebody intimately.”  Zoom can leave us in a “hyper-aroused” state that we hardly want connected to professional meetings!

Ramachandran recommends reducing the size of the Zoom window on our screen, to minimize face size and to create a personal space between ourselves and the platform (e.g. by using an external keyboard).

(2) Seeing ourselves so persistently during video chats in real-time is exhausting.

Most videoconferencing platforms show these large images of ourselves, during a chat, so that we also have the unnatural experience of seeing ourselves when we’re talking to people, making decisions, getting and giving feedback.

 Ramanchandran reports that “when we see reflections of ourselves, we only become more critical of ourselves.” There are negative emotional consequences of seeing ourselves in a mirror! Consider how much easier it is, for instance, to floss one’s teeth before going to bed, nightly, if one does not do it in front of a mirror. . 

 

Ramachandran recommends that users should use the “hide self-view” button (right click on your photo) in Zoom, once we have found our faces properly framed in the video. He also advocates for changes to the software, so that beaming the video to both ourselves (as default), and not only to others, should be changed.

 

(3) Video chats also reduce our physical mobility.

When we meet in-person or by phone, we have the freedom to move and walk around. But with videoconferencing, we have to stay in the same spot, which is problematic, because, as Bailenson observes, “when people are moving, they’re performing better cognitively.” Participants should be allowed to pace and doodle, uncensored. Also, turning off the video camera occasionally and working with audio only can give us a rest.

 

By choosing a large room for the call and positioning the camera not to focus so intensively on our faces, we can create more distance and allow for more user comfort. 

 

(4) The “cognitive load” (memory resources) participants endure is much higher in video chats.

During in-person meetings, Bailenson says that we communicate non-verbally and “make and interpret gestures and non-verbal cues subconsciously.” But we can’t do that in videoconferencing, where we have to worry about whether our heads are in the centres of the video and where we must use exaggerated gestures (nodding, thumbs up) to agree with others.

 

These demands all add to our “cognitive load,” which means our mental resources of memory and thinking. Much effort is required to communicate with each other. 

 

Gestures also can mean different things in video meetings than they do in-person. For instance, as our looking aside to others in Zoom call may seem to signal lost attention. Yet we know from experience that it may result from nothing more relevant or important than an unexpected entrance of a pet or family member into the room.

 

Here, too, Bailenson recommends using “audio-only” participation, especially if we attend long stretches of such meetings.Setting visual images aside frees us from having to manufacture non-verbal gestures and enables us to move and turn our bodies away from the screen.

 

While we address the above four effects of videoconferencing, Balachandran says we can also be on the lookout for the “Zoom Exhaustion and Fatigue Scale” (ZEF Scale). This measures workplace fatigue from videoconferencing in terms of exhaustion, eye irritation, users avoiding social situations after calls end and users’ feelings of being emotionally drained and of being too tired to undertake other activities. 

 

Ramachandran says that research has begun to uncover the roots of “Zoom fatigue” and so to make healthy changes in online meeting practices. There is much work left to address and engage psychologists’ findings.

 

Acknowledging and reporting these changes can make videoconferencing platforms less exhausting and “change some of the paradigm” on which our meetings are built.

 

And now it’s your turn: Have you found using Zoom or other videoconferencing software to deplete your mental and emotional resources? Please write in; I’d be delighted to hear your feedback!

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 STORYTELLER’s CORNER . . . . 

STORYTELLER’S CORNER: Words, stories, riddles and more on writing and editing . . .

Should you end a sentence with a preposition, asks  “Grammar Girl,” Mignon Fogarty?

Just as many of us were taught in grade two not to start a sentence with “and” or “but” (practices long ago overturned as pedantic), some writers and readers still believe that we should not end sentences with prepositions.

Mignon Fogarty, the American writing coach who brands herself as “Grammar Girl,” has blogged on this very point.

To review (for non-grammarians): a “preposition” is a word that creates a relationship between other words, usually dealing with space (e.g.“above,” “by,” and “over”); and time (e.g.“before” and “after”).

Here are two examples of these, respectively: “The nightstand is by the bed,” and “We had dessert after dinner.”

So long as the preposition is grammatically needed (unlike in the phrase:“The diver jumped off of the deep end”), it can legitimately fall at the end of a sentence. So it’s acceptable, as Fogarty says, to write “What did you step on?” instead of “On what did you step?” (Note how the latter sounds stuffy and pedantic.)

Fogarty says that prepositions often fall at the end of sentences in which phrasal verbs are used—verbs that are made of multiple words used to convey action. These verbs often include a preposition. For example, “I wish she would leave it off.” Or “You should cheer up.”

Other sentences without phrasal verbs can also end with prepositions and still be valid: “I want to know where he came from” is much more readable than “I want to know from where he came.” Fogarty says that one exception would be when writing conservative documents like cover letters (i.e. job applications), when it would be safer to avoid ending sentences with prepositions.

However, in virtually all other cases, ending sentences with prepositions will make them easier (and therefore, faster) to read.  

Consider as a guide the statement uttered by Sir Winston Churchill, who famously resisted this rule against preposition use, saying: “This is the sort of pedantry up with which I will not put!”

Do you have an idea, riddle or joke on any aspect of writing or communications? Please share it with me; I’d be delighted to use it in an upcoming issue. 

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SHOP NEWS:

Thank you this month to  departing Executive Director Heath Graham and to ongoing Sales Manager Monique Duperreault at The Franklin Retirement Residence, for continuing to support seniors of all ages and abilities, in their later years.  Suites are available–please consider for the elderly in your lives.

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Special thanks to the very gifted ESL teacher, philosopher, classicist and generous human being, Steve Cavan, who has advised me as I take my ESL teaching even further online.

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My friends Cuyler and Joni Onclin have made me grateful for generously collaborating with me on car and transportation related issues, sharing  stories and laughter along the way.

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A renewed call to readers with entrepreneurial instincts: If you (or someone you know) is entrepreneurially minded or even simply has “an idea for a business,” the “Xperiencify” program of the Praxis School of Entrepreneurship (PSE) can help you make it a reality.

The program offers many benefits to anyone with a self-identified differing ability (or “disability”), but who functions highly.

And PSE’s network of support continues long after the program ends.

The PSE is a crucible for fruitful relationships with talented entrepreneurs and alumni, under the powerhouse leadership of Chief Visionary Officer, Monica Kreuger, and her remarkable team.

To learn more, contact program administrator Elaine Mantyka today at: (306) 664-0500, or email elainem@globalinfobrokers.ca

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ABOUT US:

Between 2011 and December 2018, Elizabeth Shih Communications chronicled the stories of B2B marketing and communications on the Prairies and across the country.

Effective January 1, 2019, I rebranded as “Storytelling Communications.” I now help newcomers to Canada land better jobs by improving their English skills; I help SMEs close more sales by communicating better; and I write the legacy stories of major companies.

Interested in learning more? Please contact me through my CASL-compliant website (www.elizabethshih.com).

After I receive your message, I’ll be pleased to discuss projects with you!

Please visit my website for more information (www.storytellingcommunications.ca).

STAY IN TOUCH:

Follow us on Twitter

Become a Facebook fan

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Contact us

 

August 2021 Vol 3 Issue 8

Tell Your Story Newsletter (TYSN):

Specializing in Entrepreneurial and Organizational Storytelling

Let me tell your story!

Welcome Mid-August 2021!

As I prepare this issue of “Tell Your Story Newsletter,” a lengthy heatwave (with temperatures nearing 40 degrees Celcius) has finally broken and not a moment too soon! One can’t help but wish we could “bottle” the heat we’ve had since June, to release it next January or February!

In this issue, I describe a wonderful revisionary re-writing of the late Shel Silverstein’s fable, “The Giving Tree.” More specifically, the document alters the end of the tale, by providing entrepreneurial–and human–insights on the importance of healthy boundaries.

And in “Storytellers’ Corner,” I return to the perennial problem of differentiating between “immigrate” and “emigrate,” a problem patiently explained by American etymologist Bryan Garner. To use these terms correctly is especially relevant to me, as I tutor new immigrants to Canada in English as a second (or foreign) language.

These past nearly two years have been deeply trying for most of us. Recently, the drought and extensive summer heat have been devastating for farmers, gardeners and for all of us who worry about our beleaguered environment.

At such times, and with a Covid variant surging in our communities, do your spiritual leanings take you to mindful meditation, contemplation or prayer? Mine certainly have, and such beliefs can become our best resort.

May this week’s cooling trend and the passing of our last full month of summer, bring our province– one troubled corner of the planet–some lasting relief.

Sincerely,
Elizabeth
Principal
Storytelling Communication

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IN THIS ISSUE:

 

ARTICLE 1: Do you give too much (as an entrepreneur)? On keeping healthy boundaries with Shel Silverstein
and Topher Payne
STORYTELLERS’ CORNER:
The perennial case of “immigrate” versus “emigrate”
SHOP NEWS
ABOUT US
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Article One: Do you give too much (as an entrepreneur)? On keeping healthy boundaries with Shel Silverstein and Topher Payne (for the Atlanta Artist Relief Fund Story Time)

The American writer, poet, cartoonist, songwriter and playwright, Shel Silverstein (1930-1999), is fondly remembered for writing children’s literature. His online biography says that his books have been translated into 30 languages and have sold some 20 million copies. I still remember taking
delight in his cartoon images which I found in Greystone Heights’ (elementary school) library.

Arguably Silverstein’s best-known children’s story, “The Giving Tree” (first published in 1964), is really a parable about the importance of setting boundaries for ourselves, when we serve others. The publisher’s jacket aptly labels the book: for “all ages.” I summarize and quote the story, here:

“Once there was a tree . . . and she loved a little boy.
And every day the boy would come and . . . gather her leaves,” to play with,
He would climb up her trunk and swing from her branches,
and eat apples . . . .
And when he was tired, he would sleep in her shade.
And the boy loved the tree . . . . very much.
And the tree was happy.
But time went by.
And the boy grew older.
And the tree was often alone.”

When the tree asks the boy to return to playing with her, the boy says he is “too big,” and that he
wants “to buy things and have fun.”
He asks the tree to give him money.

She offers him her apples to “sell . . . . Then you will have money and you will be happy.”

The boy sells the apples. But afterward he stays away a very long time, causing the tree to grow sad.

When she invites him to play again (at a third period in the boy’s life), he refuses, saying he is “too busy,” that he “wants a house to keep me warm . . . [and] I want a wife and I want children, and so I need a house. Can you give me a house?”

The tree asserts that she has no house, other than the forest, but offers to give the boy her branches to build his house, which he hurriedly takes. Again she says, “Then you will be happy.”

The narrator next says: “And the tree was happy.”

The boy again stayed away for a very long time. But when they meet again (a fourth period in the boy’s life), the tree is “so happy she could hardly speak.” When she invites the boy to play once again, the boy says he is “too old and sad” and that he now wants “a boat that will take me far away from here.” He asks the tree if she can give him a boat.

Giving once again, the tree tells the boy to “cut down [her] trunk” to make a boat, and “Then you can sail away and be happy,” she says.

The boy does so, leaving the tree with only a stump. The narrator says that “the tree was happy . . . but not really.”

Again after another long time, the boy (now an elderly man) comes back to the tree. The tree says she’s sorry but she has no apples, branches or trunk to give him: “I wish that I could give you something . . . but I have nothing left. I am just an old stump. I am sorry . . .”

But he says he wants “just a quiet place to sit and rest. I am very tired.” So the tree “straightening herself up as much as she could,” invites him to “sit down and rest.”

The boy does so, and the narrator says, “And the tree was happy.”

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The publisher of “The Giving Tree” summarizes this story as one of “unforgettable perception,” without specifying whose perception is at stake.

The story tells us that “as the boy grew older, he began to want more from the tree, and the tree gave and gave.”

The publisher goes on to refer to the story as “an . . . interpretation of the gift of giving and a serene acceptance of another’s capacity to love in return.” The statement implies that the tree accepts the boy’s very limited capacity to feel and share love, after she gives him everything she has—including
her life.

The parable reminds me of the Brothers Grimm fable of “The Fisherman and His Wife.” In that fable, the gender roles are reversed and the fisherman’s wife is the one who has an overweening desire (for her husband) to grasp and take (money and power) for her own benefit.

We don’t know how Silverstein interpreted the story he wrote and even if we did, that would reflect the fallacy of authorial intention. But 21st century readers like me are struck by the imbalance in “The Giving Tree” between the tree’s motherly generosity and the boy’s selfish exploitation of her.

And then . . . seemingly a world away from Silverstein’s parable, in a recent entrepreneurial workshop that I attended, the great American copywriter, Ed Gandia, shared something very special–a contemporary “alternate ending” to “The Giving Tree,” written by Topher Payne (and created for the Atlanta Artist Relief Fund Story Time).

The group deserves our credit, thanks and a contribution (which I’m looking into.)  Gandia referred to Payne’s revised ending to illustrate the importance of psychological boundaries for freelance creatives, including writers, of all kinds.

Payne calls his “revision” to the parable, “The Tree Who Set Healthy Boundaries.” Beginning in the part of the story where the boy asks the tree for a house,” Payne’s boundary conscious tree sets a limit! She says: “Okay, hold up. This is already getting out of hand.

Look, I was fine with giving you the apples to help you get on your feet. They’ll grow back next season anyway. But no, I’m not giving you a house. You know, I’ve seen boys like you pull this nonsense with other trees in the forest. First it’s the apples, then branches, then the trunk, and before you know it that mighty beautiful tree is just a sad little stump. Well, look here, Boy, I love you like family, but I am not going down like that.”

Payne’s tree next confronts the “boy” about how he only visits “when he needs something,” and how inconsiderate he is of the tree’s, feelings,” and so on.
The boy responds by doing research to learn that the tree will not lose her health by hosting some nearby squirrels—a point of concern she had expressed to him. In fact, the boy, says Payne’s narrator, “loved his friend [the tree] and was concerned about her long-term health because she had taught him the importance of empathy.”

Empathy, we know as humans, and especially as entrepreneurs, requires that we maintain our own boundaries. Payne’s rewriting becomes consciously entrepreneurial, when the narrator says that the tree and the boy accepted each other’s boundaries in this way:

“The boy attended culinary school. The tree took courses online and got her certification in small business management. They did their homework together nearly every day. The boy became a pastry chef. Together, they opened a bakery selling the best apple pies anyone had ever tasted. It turned a profit in the first eighteen months, which is most uncommon.”

Payne’s narrator mentions that the boy had a son of his own, and, in time, that son also had his own family. So, “because of their friendship, the boy was successful and fulfilled, and the tree grew wider and stronger, standing tall and beautiful in the forest for many, many, many years.”

The narrator then concludes that, had the tree years earlier given the boy her trunk for a house and boat she “would have had nothing left . . . for herself [or] anyone else”: “In truth, she would have gladly given the boy her branches to build a house” and “her trunk to build a boat. She loved him that much.”

But such giving without limit would have obliterated her boundaries: she would have had no home for the squirrels, no games with the boy’s grandchildren and no successful bakery selling legendary apple pies.

Payne’s narrator closes: “Setting healthy boundaries is a very important part of giving. It assures you’ll always have something left to give.” So not only the tree was happy, but “everyone was,” and not because they gave something to another, but because they remembered first to take care of (and
responsibility for) themselves–and, it follows, for their own happiness.

Does Topher Payne’s wonderful rewriting of Silverstein’s classic fable speak to you, in your entrepreneurial or personal life? Please send me your response; I’d be delighted to hear from you.
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 STORYTELLER’s CORNER  . . . 

Words, Stories, Riddles and Jokes on Writing and Editing . . .

This month: the easy-to-forget distinction between “immigrate” and “emigrate”

One of my recent pupils during my recent practicum with Nevy’s Language (Toronto) reported that the difference between “immigrate” and “emigrate” was “hard to remember!” And I myself sometimes forget it.

So from Bryan Garner’s Modern American Usage, here is a refresher:
To “Immigrate” means to migrate into or enter (a country). This verb considers the movement from the perspective of the destination.

To “Emigrate” means to migrate away from or exit (a country). This verb considers the movement from the perspective of the departure point.
Garner writes further: “Emigrate is to immigrate as go is to come, or as take is to bring. People emigrate from or out of [a country] and immigrate to or into another.

He offers two examples, which I am reporting in corrected format:
(1) “The store is owned by Maria Guadalupe Flores, a native of Mexico who immigrated into the US at age 17.” “Cinderella Story MN,” Pioneer Press (St. Paul), 19 May 1996, D7.

(2) “His most recent hire is a programmer he recruited and helped to emigrate from Singapore.” Lisa Biank Fasig, “Jetsoft Co. Scans Its Way to Innovation,” Cincinnati Enquirer, 15 May, 1997, J3.

The best way to resolve what my ESL student called “hard to remember” linguistic differences is to keep using them, actively, in spoken and written English.

And if that fails, consult Garner’s Modern American Usage on an as-needed
basis!

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SHOP NEWS:

Thanks this month go to the “Happiness Team” of Ed Gandia, based near Atlanta, GA, for sending me Topher Payne’s rewritten ending to “The Giving Tree.” Ed’s support team are generous in spirit and I am grateful.
And a huge thank you to Topher Payne for revising Silverstein’s disturbing fable!

In other news, special thanks this month go to novelist and friend, Lesley-Anne McLeod, for sharingher beautiful garden and wonderful conversation, two weekends ago.

Despite the drought, Lesley, as a devoted gardener, has daily watered (manually) and maintained beautiful plants and flowers, over the past three months. Her garden has even offered refuge to a wild rabbit (a “rabbit-in-residence”), which also shared his/her company, during our recent visit.

Have you found it wonderful to reconnect with old friends, after you’ve become fully vaccinated? I see plenty of photographic evidence over Facebook and Instagram!
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I’m also delighted to be asked to reprise my business communication seminars for the Praxis School of Entrepreneurship. I look forward to adapting curriculum to meet the needs of new entrepreneurs-in-training in an online (Zoom-based) format.
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Another word of special thanks to entrepreneur and language teacher Steve Cavan (formerly of Paddock Wood Brewery) who has generously shared his insight, tips and skills with me, as I register to teach ESL online.
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And my thoughts this month are with the province’s teachers and educators who strive to return to in-person learning, when children have not been able to be vaccinated, and when some adult learners have refused (for various reasons) to do so.
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And thanks to my faithful readers for their patience with this month’s newsletter, prepared when the iContact platform was not fully functioning–especially with its spell-check!
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ABOUT US:
Between 2011 and December 2018, Elizabeth Shih Communications chronicled the stories of B2B marketing and communications on the Prairies and across the country.

Effective January 1, 2019, I rebranded as “Storytelling Communications.” I now help Canadian newcomers to secure better jobs by improving their language skills; I assist SMEs in closing more sales by communicating more effectively; and I write the legacy stories of major companies.

Interested in learning more? Please contact me through my CASL-compliant
website (www.elizabethshih.com).

After I receive your message, I’ll be pleased to discuss projects with you!
Please visit my website for more information (www.storytellingcommunications.ca).

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STAY IN TOUCH:
Follow us on Twitter
Become a Facebook fan
Subscribe to my blog
Contact us