Can swearing help us cope with loss? One answer in the mid-March issue of TYSN!

March 2026  Vol 8 Issue 3

Tell Your Story Newsletter:

Teaching English as a Second Language

Let us help you tell your story!

 

Welcome Mid-March 2026.  Spring is coming!

As I prepare this issue of “Tell Your Story Newsletter,” we mark one year from Prime Minister Mark Carney’s election as Canada’s 24th Prime Minister. Even for those who dread international politics (and there’s never a shortage of criticism), Carney has been organized and decisive in strengthening foreign and domestic policy through these tumultuous times. He has started to shift Canadian foreign policy and our economy amidst threats from Donald Trump, the wars in Ukraine and Iran and more.

And less than a week ago, progressive thinkers in the Western world observed “International Women’s Day,” at a time when women in particular have lost much ground under ruling men whose psychopathic behaviours have undermined much of democratic values.

At a time when many of us are facing losses, Canadian-born theologian Kate Bowler has blogged about the importance of “swearing.” Swearing, you might ask? How could that possibly help? It’s personal, Bowler would say; and Friedan was right to connect the personal with the political. (It was feminist Carol Hanisch in 1970 who famously wrote, “The personal is the political.”) . . . The more things change, the more they stay the same . . .

In “Storytellers’ Corner,” I revisit five “common Latin terms everyone should know,” from contributors to the online resource, “Grammar Check.”

Rather than insisting that everyone “should” know such Latin terms, I offer them instead as a source for experimentation and laughter, to be applied (if you wish) at your next meeting with family or friends (haha)!

And, although the wind was bitterly cold in Saskatoon this week, I hope you have found, good readers, the relief that has come with the lengthening of daylight hours and the return of at least some prairie sunshine.

Despite the wars and international governments that instill hatred for, segregate, torture and even murder the vulnerable, may each of us find compassion for ourselves and our neighbours, and to appreciate the blessings we still receive, even as we try to oppose the lawlessness in our world.

As a friend recently wrote: “Three nutritious meals each day, the chance to earn a living that supports my family, and (at night), a warm bed and a good book may be blessings enough to keep going.”

And may we find rest in such blessings each day, before we turn to the work of supporting others in our community, near and far.

Sincerely,

Elizabeth Shih

Principal

Storytelling Communications

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IN THIS ISSUE:

  • ARTICLE 1: Can swearing help us cope with loss?
  • STORYTELLERS’ CORNER: Five Common Latin Terms to Use (or Laugh at)
  • SHOP NEWS
  • ABOUT US

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Article One: Can swearing (in Lent) help us cope with loss? Some thoughts from Kate Bowler  

American theologian Kate Bowler writes with great authenticity about anger, pain and the many forms of loss human beings can endure.

She herself endured stage four breast cancer at age 59 (in 2020) and her book titles themselves reflect her questioning of a Divine Being, faith, and life itself:

Have a beautiful, terrible day! Daily meditations for the ups, downs and in-betweens;

The lives we actually have: 100 blessings for imperfect days;

Everything happens for a reason: and other lies I’ve loved;

and

Joyful, Anyway.

Bowler embraces a hands-on, down-to-earth theology on finding hope and grace amidst the most gruelling of life’s challenges (e.g. life-threatening cancer when she was raising a young child).

In a recent blog posting, she testifies that swearing has a therapeutic effect, as she’s found in the “ten years since [she] took up cursing for Lent.”

It may not be “theologically ideal” to curse, she says. But “the greater honesty I have been afforded, the more theological discomfort I have been able to tolerate.”

Lent, for those who do not know, is a season in the Christian calendar when believers try to understand Christ’s own sacrifice on the cross by taking on one of their own: we may give up bad habits, start new spiritual practices, donate funds or time to our local church communities, or simply give up alcohol or chocolate for the 40 days leading up to Good Friday (the day of Christ’s crucifixion).

Bowler writes: “Lent asks us to identify with being on the losing team with Jesus as He walks toward His death, either as a witness or as a fellow sufferer. How difficult or easy is it for you, lately, to figure out where you are in the [Easter] story?”

Bowler says that for Lent 10 years ago, “I started swearing.” And cursing, one might argue, can help to find just where in the Easter story one is.

Bowler swore about “cancer. . . . about dry croissants and coffee that cools too quickly.” She continues: “I swear about people trying to narrate me as part of a heroic battle with cancer. I swear about Curious George seeming a little whiney to the Man in the Yellow Hat . . . .” (she is a mom, after all).

Bowler allowed herself to swear after reading “an article about how people in grief swear because they feel the English language has reached its limit in a time of inarticulate sorrow. Or at least that is what I tell people when I am casually dropping f-bombs over lunch, as I explain the mysteries of Lent.”

Today is indeed a “time of inarticulate sorrow,” whether we consider Russia’s war on Ukraine; Israel’s and America’s war on Iran; the atrocities in Afghanistan (to name only three of the world’s “hotspots”).  Immense sorrow coincides painfully with Christ sacrificing his life for believers, over 2000 years ago.

Closer to home, a woman I know has discovered her husband of 20 years has been unfaithful for at least the last three. Another  friend who is a young mother has been diagnosed with stage-three gastrointestinal cancer but finds her family unwilling to provide her with much support.

A colleague who endured horrific abuse as a small child from both parents, reports that she’ll lose her sight before she turns 55.  Sometimes the world holds more sorrow than a person can bear.

A much-loved family friend told me nearly 30 years ago, anticipating Bowler, that the only way through the trials of life was to swear—that my language of coping was too subtle to combat the emotional pain I was enduring as a student.

As a language teacher, I find the possible coping function of swearing to be fascinating. Perhaps we should include some salty language when we’re teaching ESL/EFL to refugees! (Swearing has been part of more than one BBC comedy on the topic!)

Bowler refers to a 2020 article from Keele University psychologists (Staffordshire, UK) that argues “only ‘traditional’ swearing improves our ability to tolerate pain.”

Dr. Richard Stephens (senior lecturer in psychology at Keele) and PhD student Olly Robertson have published a study that “uttering traditional swear words [worked] in helping to tolerate pain.”

By contrast, while saying “fake swear words” like “twizpipe” and “fouch” elicited emotion and laughter, “fake” curses had little impact when it came to coping with pain. This contrasted the salutary effect of “traditional swear words.” Stephens and Robertson found that only well-established curses induced “stress-induced analgesia and increased pain tolerance by 33%.”

The suffering of immigrants and newcomers to Canada (whom I meet in my ESL teaching) could, according to these findings,  be reduced by the emotional efficacy of swearing.

Stephens concludes that “it’s not the surface properties of swear words, such as how they sound, that underlie the beneficial effects of swearing, but something much deeper, probably linked back to childhood as we learn swear words growing up.”

So when our parents or teachers outlawed swearing to us children, when we faced the calamities of life, that discipline may have done us more harm than good. Those easily offended might rethink this study’s findings.

So, yes, we can give up chocolate or caffeine for 40 days, but Bowler recommends that we also practice swearing, especially about today’s authoritarian world politics and their assault on humankind.

Cursing what we cannot change may allow us to process pain and loss that we’d otherwise suppress or repress, and that would then lead to depression and serious mental illness.

In her blog, Bowler reminds believers and agnostics alike, that swearing may help us to remember three basics that can guide us through any season (including Lent and long SK winters)! She asks us to remember: “(a) You are loved. (b) Life is absurd. (c) It’s hard to be a human.”

And now it’s your turn. What do you think of using swearing as a linguistic practice to endure our pain and suffering?

Which swear words do you appreciate? Please write in; I’d be delighted to share your insights in future issues of TYSN.

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STORYTELLERS’ CORNER . . . . 

STORYTELLERS’ CORNER: Words, Stories,

Riddles and Jokes on Writing and Editing . . .

Five Common Latin terms to know and use (from grammarcheck.net)

(1) A priori (From what is before). E.g.: ” ‘All bachelors are unmarried’ is an a priori statement.”

(2) Ad hoc (For this situation). E.g. ” ‘The library was turned into an ad hoc shelter, during the storm.”

(3) Ad infinitum (To infinity). E.g. “Sandra complained about her work ad infinitum.”

(4) Ad libitum or Ad lib (As you desire). E.g. “Some actors used to ad lib their parts in certain scenes of the play.”

(5) Ad nauseam (To the point of sickness). E.g. “We heard another ad nauseam rant about his narcissistic political ambitions.”

If you have never studied Latin (or not for long), how might you make use of these terms in common parlance–for entertainment if not edification?

Please share your stories with me; I’d be delighted to cite you in a future issue. 

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SHOP NEWS:

Special thanks this month to Steve Cavan, whose many hats include those of ESL teacher, mentor and editor.

Steve’s willingness to lend his specialist knowledge of linguistics to support a student with high-level sensitivity has been welcome.

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Thank you to former editing client and long-time friend, Greg Gilroy, for hosting and sharing details of a beautiful birthday party he held for his elderly mother, who recently turned 97!

Few adult children are as attentive to their mothers’  last years as Greg is;  it was heartwarming to view family photos from the event.

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These days, I’m thinking of my dear friend Arian in Ontario, whose family and lifelong friends still live in Iran and who are fugitives, due to Netanyahu and Trump’s attacks on that nation and the subsequent reciprocal bombings unleashed, between it and other, Middle Eastern nations.

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In much happier and healthier news, CONGRATULATIONS go out to new parents, Rev. Roberto and Heather De Sandoli, on the birth of their daughter, Rosanna Marie De Sandoli on March 13th!

Rosanna weighed in at nine pounds and brings her parents, grandparents and friends much joy.

Congratulations, Rev. Roberto and Heather!

And welcome to the world, Rosanna!

There are always more people to thank and new work to promote. But this is a wrap for mid-March!

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ABOUT US:

Between 2011 and December 2018, Elizabeth Shih Communications chronicled the stories of B2B marketing and communications on the Prairies and across the country.

Effective January 1, 2019, I rebranded as “Storytelling Communications.” I help new and economic immigrants to secure better jobs or contracts by improving their English skills; and I help internationally educated, second language academics to publish more effectivel, so as to increase their success in the tenure system.

Interested in learning more? Please contact me through my CASL-compliant website (www.elizabethshih.com).

After I receive your message, I’ll be pleased to discuss projects with you!

Please visit my website for more information (www.storytellingcommunications.ca).